People ask me all the time if I've got a job lined up for after the honeymoon. When Mr. is there at the time, he'll often give a little wry smile and say, "Housewife...?" - I love how he does that.
And of course I want to give my all, certainly my main focus, to the home we are going to build together. But I know so many women who work because they just don't have that choice, and I feel bad to boast about having a choice in the matter - and making the counter-cultural choice, the easy-looking one. As one colleague ironically put it, 'Are you going to work, or just enjoy the lifestyle to which you shall become accustomed?'
I don't believe for a moment that 'not working' really means 'not working'. Making a home is work. And it's not work I have prepared for, the way I have prepared for my career with a degree. Also, it's not a rewarded kind of work - no salaries, no bonuses, no recognition, no advancement. It's a truly serving kind of job: most of it goes unnoticed (only when things go wrong are they noticed), it's a daily commitment, it's physical work, and it's always in the background. There are no awards for homemaking. If anything, a raised eyebrow when an acquaintance asks what you do.
So I need to...
- be secure in my identity, value and worth as they come from my Father, not from the recognition and admiration of others.
- truly desire to serve my husband. He will continue to go out and work full-time, giving lots of energy to his job; I want our home to be a place of rest and peace for him, and creating that kind of home takes work and commitment - which he probably won't see most of the time, or only be dimly aware of. He'll just experience it and, hopefully, be happy to come home each day.
- prioritise all other tasks; whether or not I take on any remunerated work. I might work from home as a freelancer, I might do part-time work; how it all pans out is still open. But my priority has got to be home, from now on.
It takes a lot of maturity to do this, I think. And I'm not sure I have what it takes. But I'm willing to try - actually, excited to start!